The Biopsy

Dr. Leblanc said that Dr. Weist's report said my mammogram was negative (which is what the report they sent me said); however, I could see skin thickening on the mammogram. I wonder why they don't report that. She showed it to me. Obviously that is where they think the issue is.



Anyways, the redness had changed and was more prevalent since I initially went to see Dr. Leblanc on the 11th and I could see she was concerned. She also said she could feel more thickening and would feel more comfortable doing a nipple biopsy and a skin biopsy.



I told her to do whatever she felt needed to be done; however, about 2 minutes after I got started down the road from her office I wish I had asked to skip the biopsy. It felt like I was in a clamp and was being twisted. I wouldn't have wished the pain on anyone. I ran to Rite Aid and got Tylenol (I meant to take some with me) and then ran to McDonald's and got a cheeseburger so I could take the Tylenol. I went back to work and worked until 6:00 pm.

It's amazing when I tell someone they say if it is cancer have you considered just cutting them both off? When I was younger I couldn't wait to get boobs. It meant I was growing up. Now, to hear just cut them off?

Well, I'm still waiting. I don't know what the pathology revealed.

I read on a t-shirt the other day that pain is just weakness leaving the body. I don't know if I agree with that or not. Pain is a reminder of how human we are and how much we need a Savior who suffered for us and by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

Healing. That will be a post for later.

The Mammogram

Last Thursday I had my first mammogram. I had hoped to put that off for another year. Actually I didn't think it was bad at all. It really wasn't that uncomfortable and it didn't take that long either.

I went in there and the technician told me she would do the mammogram and I would wait while the doctor read it and then I would have an ultrasound if it was needed. Well, I waited longer to get it done so the ultrasound could be done at the same time and by golly I wasn't going to leave without the ultrasound.

So she did the mammogram and took me out to a waiting area. About 10 minutes later she told me the Radiologist would like to see me. So, I went back and there was Dr. Weist. Dr. Weist is a great Radiologist so I was thrilled she had read my mammogram. She told me she thought I might have Paget's Disease and that I should have a punch biopsy and bilateral breast MRI. I didn't get the ultrasound.

I'll post about the biopsy tomorrow.

The Finding

I'm on a journey. A big journey. As some of you know I am a Certified Tumor Registrar. I have accessioned hundreds of cancer cases (maybe thousands) and have read about numerous types of cancer. I know about disease progression, symptoms and courses of therapy. I know about death.

So on July 4th when I looked in the mirror and saw that my breast had a huge red area I knew how to attack. I gave it two days to go away on its own (maybe something bit me) and then I called the doctor. The nurse knew my worry and got me right in to see the doctor.

We discussed what it might be (because I already knew) and she gave me antibiotics to cover any skin ailment it might be. She also ordered my first mammogram (I'm 38 so I haven't had one yet) with an ultrasound. I couldn't get in until July 28th.

My first thoughts were it could be inflammatory breast carcinoma and my breast resembled what some of the pictures on the Internet looked like. The other thing I could find in googling was an infected milk gland (thus the antibiotics) but nothing else (since I'm not breast feeding this would be rare).

I told a few friends and they started praying for me. One of the friends had a connection at Asheville Radiology and they got my mammogram moved up to the 24th.

I took the full course of anti-biotics and the redness got a little worse, not better.

My friend Melissa sent me a great email. She said: "I refuse to accept this diagnosis. I know that we don't get to choose these things..." Then she reminded me of Paget's disease. Paget's disease has a much better outcome than inflammatory breast cancer and since they are both rare (Yeah, me and the rare diseases) there isn't a ton of information out there on either of them.

So I was more optimistic.

The wonderful mammogram will be the next post.

Fight Like a Girl

My friend Stephanie emailed me the other day and in it she said "Fight like a girl." I've been thinking about that statement.

How do girls fight? We are emotional beings. We cry, we laugh, we stand up for one another. So what makes us fight differently than boys/men?

I think one thing is we use the Internet to research our health issues. My mom didn't have the Internet when I was growing up so she bought a book on diseases (basically so you can see what herb/supplement/vitamin to take for varying things, but also so she could know what the doctor was telling her. She also bought "me" a set of encyclopedias. At the time that was research at my fingertips. The Internet of the 70's - encyclopedias. My dad almost died once before he went to the doctor. Men do that kind of thing - some women do, but it is mostly men.

I think men use their brawn to fight and women use their brains (that is why if we had women leaders there might be less war.)

I think another thing is most women (there are exceptions to everything) don't just point blank accept that the doctor is always right. We know our bodies. That is why many times doctors get frustrated when we know something is wrong and keep going back trying to get them to diagnose us because we "just don't feel quite right".

And we use our network. Men don't discuss health issues. They don't want anyone else to know what their disease is, what they are facing, or what they are going through. Many times their wives are the only ones they depend on to help them fight. Women can make two phone calls or send out an email and have 20 people praying for them in minutes, casserole's in the oven and someone being sent over to get the mail, vacuum the house, clean the bathroom, whatever is needed. That is how women "fight". They use each other (and know that the favor will be returned when it is needed).

I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud that I fight like a girl.

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Last Friday I truly took the day off and Brooklyn & I took her friend Taylor and went to see Journey to the Center of the Earth. We thought it might be in 3D at Regal Cinemas, but alas it wasn't. The cinematography was off the hook. I'll definitely be seeing that movie again in 3D.

I laughed, I cried, was scared, was tense, and thoroughly enjoyed the movie. I think I might get the original book and read it at the beach.

If you get a chance go see it and watch out for the carnivorous plants!

Bare Naked Ladies

Tonight, the Bare Naked Ladies meet. It's a group of women from the Underground that meet in a small group and talk about what is going on. This month our assignment is to bring 3 words that describe ourselves positively and one that is negative.

Now, I have some self-esteem. That has never been an issue for me, so I have my three positive words. Ambitious, organized, and hospitable. I think those are my positive words.

The negative word; however, is a little overwhelming. I've been facing a health issue. After I find out what it is I'll share about it on here, but until then I'm keeping it under wraps. Do I bare my soul and share that with this group of women that I am just getting to know? Do I keep it to myself and share something else that is negative? Where is that line where you make the decision to share or not to share? Do you trust this new circle to keep your secret? For that matter should you call all your friends and share? Do you just lay low and be still and know that He is God?

I'm not sure. Maybe my negative should just be unhealthy and leave it at that. You can look at me and tell that word is correct.

I guess when I get there tonight I will decide. For now, I'm thinking I'll keep it to myself.